OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
