Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
