You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
