Porn is love you can see.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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