it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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