So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
