that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize