mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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