yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
