It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
