you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
