Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
