There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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