Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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