I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
