Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I am one with the molecules
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
