If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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