That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
