At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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