whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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