He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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