youre lurking in front of me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
