You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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