If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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