Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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