Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
