Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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