The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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