Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
