so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize