if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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