No stitches, just platelets and will power
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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