is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
