Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize