All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
