I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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