Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
