Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
