why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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