I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize