she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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