This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
