you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
