i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
