he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
