Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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