I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize