Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So vagazzling was a success
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
