After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my liver is dry heaving
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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