so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
