Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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