yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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