K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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