someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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