somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize