So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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