the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
