I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
