I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Couch. On fire.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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