just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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