This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
