She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
